Her Twenties

There are a million things that can happen in three months’ time. You could fall in or out of love. You could move across the country. You could start a family. You could finish a semester at college. Or you could have a quarter-life crisis (speaking from experience). Just goes to show that three months can change your life for the better or for worse. 

In May, three months before I moved back home, I graduated college and saw Steph Curry play against Lonzo Ball with my best friend (in the SAME WEEK). You could say I was flying high, and that life was good.

But it only took three months after May for me to be at the lowest part of my life. Late August, I thought I was going nowhere and was fearful that I would never get a job using my degree (dramatic,i know but felt very real). Honestly, the only thing keeping me going was my niece and the random trips I planned months in advance. 

Three months after August in November, one of my friends from college emailed me about an open position at her workplace. It aligned with what I studied in college and it was 20 minutes from my house (SCORE). I interviewed for it and then started the following week. That was six months after I graduated from college.

The days were long and the nights were even longer during those six months. When I moved back home, away from the life i created in Pensacola – it got even worse. It was like watching paint dry for three months straight, alone, 24/7. 

I am not going to claim that my life fell into place after I got a job because it didn’t. I thought if I did get a “career job” I would be relieved from a lot of pressure and stress that would then give me the space to be happy again. Well, I was wrong about that. 

I remember vividly after my first day on the job, I went home and was seamlessly scrolling on TikTok to see a 22-year-old girl living in a nice Chicago apartment (all by herself). She worked for this Marketing firm that had a cool office and suddenly I was disappointed with where I was at. Even though my prayers were JUST ANSWERED and I finally found employment, it didn’t matter because her life looked better than mine. I was wanting this girl’s life and wishing mine away, all because of a 30-second video. 

Finally, when I gained some perspective I realized that I most definitely could not handle working a corporate job because they would chew me up and spit me out, and I’m famously way too sensitive for that. I found out that what I wanted for my life was not what I needed to live my life. I didn’t need to move to a big city and work in an intimidating office environment and be all alone. It was very hard for me to accept that but it’s the unwavering truth. 

I didn’t need to be in a corporate office getting reprimanded for a mistake I made in a project I was working on. I needed to be exactly where I was, and still am. I’m happy working for a small town business that has an office full of girls and where there’s either a baby or a dog in the office every other week. 

What I needed was to stay grounded to figure out how life works. I needed to be home to mend some of my family issues. I needed to be here to work out my weaknesses and my insecurities so I could eventually live life without any doubts in myself. I needed to be here to lay the foundation for my future self – to build up the life she deserves to live.

The power of possibilities in three months can change your life. I’m not saying this to intimidate anyone. Hopefully, it’s coming across as a good thing. Showing that pain is temporary and feelings are fleeting.

 If you’re having a difficult time getting out of bed in the morning, give yourself some grace. It won’t be a forever thing. Just look at it this way; In three months everything can be different. 

The whole month of October I was in bed. I was very sick for basically the whole month so there was really no reason to get up. But I will say my energy levels were weak as can be and my depression plummeted. There were multiple days that I did not get out of bed – I didn’t have it in me to get up and brush my teeth. I did not want to write, I did not want to read, I did not want to go outside, and most certainly did not want to talk to anyone. 

*I tried to write blogs but they were all angry. I have multiple drafts that are so sad and jaded. It’s so DRAMATIC.*

If you told me in October where I would be in three months I probably would’ve sobbed right in front of you. For the longest time, I did not believe in myself and couldn’t picture myself being successful or happy in the near future. 

You can fall downhill FAST and end up at rock bottom for months. It doesn’t take much, I can tell you that. For me, it took a month and I didn’t get better until recently. But I keep on looking at how far I’ve made it from three months ago. It’s evident in my attitude, actions, and in my writing. Looking at my progress is the driving force that keeps me going.

I just keep on looking at life within a three-month timeframe and life looks way less daunting and more adventurous to me. I’m excited to go to work and have the weekends off. I look forward to the next day.

Now, I’m trying to be as intentional as I can with my life. I am creating the life that I want and becoming the person I want to be. With that being said, I do have my days where I literally just sit in bed all day and watch Law & Order: SVU, but don’t we all? 

Just give it three months’ time and see what can happen – it might just surprise you as it did me. Don’t give up on me yet.