wistful thinking

February 8, 2022

I’m a very nostalgic person. Literally this year my Audio Aura on Spotify was ‘wistful & kindness’ with a major emphasis on wistful.

In case you weren’t aware of what wistful means, Google dictionary defines it as “having or showing a feeling of vague or regretful longing.” Now, isn’t that a strange way to describe my listening habits?

Anyways, I’m one sentimental son of a gun. Ask my friends, it gets on their nerves, but I don’t care anymore. The death stares I get from them when I ask for a picture to remember the moment, don’t phase me anymore.

Personally, I struggle most of the time with comparison (unconsciously). I look at everyone who’s living out my dream and start to beat myself up because I’m not there. It only leads to feeling unaccomplished and sends me into isolation. Which is ridiculous looking at it from the outside (but so hard NOT to do when you’re looking at it from the inside.)

Living in comparison will only leave you feeling discouraged & pathetic (speaking for myself).

When I get into my wistful episodes and throw myself a self-pity party of one; I look through my photos over the years to remind myself just how lucky I am to be living this life.

Looking through all of the memories, I start connecting the dots of the lessons I had to learn and the obstacles I had to get through to become the person I am today. It proves how God worked through my life so intimately to put the right people in my life whilst giving me clarity on why He pulled me away from certain people from my past.

I start to become overwhelmingly grateful about the way my life turned out right in front of me. My present starts to look up for me and I feel grounded again. So, if I ask to take a picture in the moment it’s my way of documenting the many blessings that God has given me and the reminder that I’ll be okay and life isn’t always that bad.

*i encourage everyone to make an album on your phone or printing out pictures to remind yourself of the people you’ve met along the road that made your life better & the experiences that you’ve had that made you feel like everything was good in the world.*